People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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