his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
