Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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