tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize