im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Pants are for mortals
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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