so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
