im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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