Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Randomize