Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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