Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
