It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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