when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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