I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Barsexuality is the new black.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
