When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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