Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You may now shotgun with the bride
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
