that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Randomize
