I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
operation have a gay friend backfired
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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