Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
