Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.

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(757): There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point. http://tfl.nu/cpsh

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(336): View more from North Carolina

She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?

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(336): She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous? http://tfl.nu/rvj0

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(407): View more from Florida

my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.

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(407): my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed. http://tfl.nu/xljx

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(815): View more from Illinois

Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here

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(815): Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here http://tfl.nu/3q8i

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.

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(405): He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left. http://tfl.nu/juzo

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(818): View more from California

i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...

(805): View more from California

i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"

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(818): i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday... (805): i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it" http://tfl.nu/3fjc

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(815): View more from Illinois

The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.

(928): View more from Arizona

wow.

(815): View more from Illinois

But it's a REALLY good back rub.

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(815): The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub. (928): wow. (815): But it's a REALLY good back rub. http://tfl.nu/3vfg

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(760): View more from California

i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now

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(760): i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now http://tfl.nu/mcne

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(208): View more from Idaho

Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.

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(208): Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon. http://tfl.nu/yvgl

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(250): View more from British Columbia

is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?

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(250): is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling? http://tfl.nu/vsf9

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(609): View more from New Jersey

One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.

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(609): One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste. http://tfl.nu/4m50

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work

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(412): also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work http://tfl.nu/czp1

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(623): View more from Arizona

Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.

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(623): Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that. http://tfl.nu/xmai

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(513): View more from Ohio

I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone

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(513): I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone http://tfl.nu/hffa

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(256): View more from Alabama

I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.

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(256): I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan. http://tfl.nu/no44

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