i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
