I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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