thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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