what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
