Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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