trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
