I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
