what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Found your dick twin last night
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
