HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
