Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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