so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
