remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
