Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
