so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
