I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
