okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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