my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
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