ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
