Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
