all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
