Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
