the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
