He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
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we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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