Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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