escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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