sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize