he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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