Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
