he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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