That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
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Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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