I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
