so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
COCAINE IS GR8
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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