Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
