with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
birth control should be required to get into college
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
