apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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