You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
