hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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